You may of noticed my last post was practically nothing to deal with games. I admit, I never wanted to stray from the topic of games on this site. There are so many blogs out there were people vent out their personal frustrations and write out so much more then a specific interest. My wife and I have managed to find ourselves in a situation where my mind is consumed with trying to figure out how we can improve our situation. For this, I wonder if I would love to just blame the American Dental Association (ADA), however this is not the root of the problems we are running into.

The world isn’t fair, and electing Borack Obama will not change that. What we do day in and day out with our lives is try to make something better out of what is before us. At least some of us do. With perception being such an intangible concept to communicate, it is a wonder we have not had even more wars throughout society. We all see the world from our own position, however some of us can try to see from another’s perspective only if we are willing to listen and open our mind up to more possiblities then we allow ourselves to think of normally. My wife has seemingly found herself caught in a fish bowl where she works. She is an associate dentist (employee who does not own part of the practice) who was told when hired that she would be mentored and could eventually buy in. What she has found since then is a workplace that lured her in and then flipped the rulebook upside down after her and I bought land and built a house.

Morality and ethics are hand in hand. Certainly, definitions of morality change from culture to culture, however the general understanding that we, as humans, have the great opportunity to go beyond mere instinct and emotion to philosophizing about the principles of life bring out something more then mere chemical reactions. If we believe in improving the state of humanity through our what we accomplish, then would we not include the people around us who contribute to such accomplishments? The Dr. who my wife works with illustrates that some people can be blind to this recognition through their own perseptions.

The Dr. who my wife works for recently was interviewed by the local paper about his appointment to a political position within our state’s dental association. When I read over the article, there was evidence that speaks louder then any typed letter that was printed on the newspaper stock. Throughout the whole multi-page article not once did the Dr. mention his thanks, appreciation, or anything whatsoever about his staff or associate dentists. This jumped out of me perhaps because I know the situation all to well, however I doubt other people reading the article would not recognize this missing component. My own perseption is shaped by the knowledge that leadership is not a gift from God, or handed down as a scepter from father to son. My brother is a General in the United States Air Force who has always stressed his accomplishments are through the accomplishments of those who he leads. Expressing this belief to those you lead is what contributes to them becoming better then they would be as an individual. To not acknowledge those who help you, is a sign of a huge problem with your leadership style.

The sad thing is, what leadership style he and his Office Manager have chosen to implement would sicken most people as destructive and counterproductive if they have any experience as a manager or executive.

For now I must stop as I hope we can find a better place for my wife to move her career forward through.

Often people find themselves drifting down the river of reality, pondering what can I do to change this outcome that seems to be inevitable. As a gamer, I know the possibilities are typically only limited by your vision and will to try. This however is only possible if you allow “House Rules” into a game and have a flexible group of players who think outside of the box. In reality, I am finding the once spectacular vision of where we would be in five years to be drifting in a very unsettling way.

Over the past five years I’ve been working for a company that, perhaps is not the ideal location. However, my wife has found herself in a situation that I find horrible and unsettling. She is a dentist and works as an associate dentist to another Dr. who owns the practice handed down to him by his father. She was hired as an associate with the intention of being able to possibly buy into the practice down the line. Their relationship worked very well in the beginning as he claimed to be interested in mentoring her in the clinical and business sides of the practice. She took some great steps and felt she was in a practice that she would want to stay in when we were married.

Everything seemed to be going quite well, so her and I purchased land, sold my house, and married. During 2007-2008 we hired a contractor to build us a home deciding where we bought land is where we want to be for the rest of our lives. The American dream is what we wanted. This dream of working up with education and hardwork and having the home and land you dreamed of. This dream started faltering shortly after our wedding, yet we simply did not see it coming.

The pitfall that we did not expect was my wife’s Matron of Honor (MoH) who had become the Office Manager of the office she worked at. We both knew she could be a spitfire at times, and tended to only see her side of a story. There was a time when I used to meet my wife and the MoH to go to movies. Other staff from the office would be there, and the MoH would proceed to trash & bash staff members that she didn’t like personally. The darker side of her was evolving as she targetted people she did not like in the office, and then began to make their lives Hell. Eventually, she managed to get all but one of the staff that was more senior then her to leave (uncomfortably) the practice. My wife stopped going to these movie nights recognizing what was going on there is not professional and respectful.

What’s worse? My wife began to be treated by the Dr. as not truly an associate, but instead as an underling to the Office Manager. Why? The MoH took all this a step further feeding on the Dr. insecurities and propping him up with constant worship. He fell for it like a lead ball in a pond. Of so many horrible parts of the situation my wife tried harder. She asked if she could join meetings to learn more about the business side, since the Dr. and Office Manager had pretty much isolated her from this information. They agreed, however shifted it from a meeting about how the practice was going to a weekly lunch meeting of bashing my wife in the supposed spirit of “critique.” Sadly, I doubt they know the meaning of a critique since they find only faults and give vague answers as to what she could do to improve. Of course, yelling at someone in the middle of a restaurant in the claim of critique, is probably closer to a hostile work environment then truly a critque. My wife could to not ever tell her side of the story, if she did she was yelled at. They knew alll you see. The Office Manager had managed to get the great communication skill of reading peoples minds down. She hears what she wants to hear, often tuning out anything you say. So if you fit her idea of who you are, then phew.. If not, then you are going to have a very uncomfortable career. Their contradictions and repeating record of bringing up issues that had long been discussed without recognizing that the past can never change. Moving forward she could illustrate how she improved, yet they could always bring up something done a year ago and bash her throughout a whole lunch meeting with something that was minor at the time yet is fuel to their fire. Their management style is hardly anything new. Yet, just the same it’s been proven such ways of treating employees degrades the situation further.

So why has my wife put up with this for so long? Just think about the student loans she took out to go to dental school. Add up a house and property that only through her and I working could we afford. Now, tally up that this Dr. is politically tied throughout the whole local, state, and national dental societies. So where does that put her? She works harder.. Improves her relationships with patients. Receives hugs, thanks, personal thank you letters, and all from patients that recognize she is working so hard for their health, comfort, and future. Now get a big fat thumb tack out for a “Non-Compete” clause in her contract that has grown every year she has worked there. Now, you can see it’s a situation I wish nobody to find themselves in.

Last night, in desperation I looked up on the American Dental Association (ADA) to see what they had about the ethics or professional conduct. I found their document here (ADA Principles of Ethics and Code of Professional
Conduct). The document contains almost no mentioning whatsoever of employee treatment whether assistants, hygeinists, office staff, or associate dentists. It amazes me how that topic would not be covered in a document about Ethics or Professional Conduct. So last night I sent a letter to the ADA bringing up the Employee is missing from their code. Hopefully, my wife will find a different place to work. No matter what, we both have learned a lot about how to, and how not to treat people who work for you or with you. I just wish others would do the same when they hold so much in their hands.

P.S. On 11/4/2008 my wife was put through the ringer with another of their lunch meetings. At the end of the day after everybody was leaving the Office Manager asked her to step in her office for a second. She stepped in and the Office Manager shut the door and presented her with two “Disciplinary” sheets. The first one dated January of 2008. The OM tried to convince her stating that she has seen improvements in my wifes performance (even though this does not match what was written). She told the OM that she would have to look these over but was not going to sign them at the time. She spoke to a lawyer who was abashed that they would present my wife with a document dated for almost a year ago and just now present it to her. They are trying to create a paper trail to make it so they can cover themselves. After speaking with her lawyer she signed the papers stating the date of receipt and that she is acknowledging the receipt of the paper but not agreeing to the contents. The OM of course, decided to write down then that she refused to sign on the previous day. What people will do when there isn’t a code of ethics or professional conduct…

Often we get so carried away with everything we have to do that we forget to put any emphasis on a key element of Tabletop Miniature Gaming (TMG).  What key element is that?  Well, if you read the title of this post you know exactly what I’m talking about.  I can admit it’s hard to shell out the cash necessary for a beautiful scenery set for all circumstances you may run into with wargaming, role-playing, and gladiator arena matches.  However, a kick *ss miniature shouldn’t be roaming around on a blank table.  Nor does a felt mat constitute as proper terrain for a miniature that might just be the next Golden Demon winner…

With the economy in shambles, it’s a hard sell to convince people to drop the cash for terrain.  However, if you check out the Dwarven Forge you know exactly what I mean by worth it. Whenever I make it to GenCon I can’t help but drool over the terrain they put out. My wife isn’t as fond of them though. She knows that eventually I will run out of projects to do on the house, and then it will be miniature terrain mayhem.

How can you not want some of their terrain? Of course, while searching around for other miniature terrain I found a Patent for flexible miniature terrain pieces.. United States Patent 5326267. The idea behind the patent is that the terrain would be flexible both vertically and horizontally. It would hold shape and then be able to be re-used. It’s too bad you can’t search for products based off the “inventor” James Brokaw. I’ve never come across any scenery that does this, and might find it interesting to see an actual product.

In the meantime, Dwarven Forge’s scenery sets are by far the best out there. They are especially more impressive then a certain company that came to GenCon where you could see the finger prints in the castings. It might be rude to mention the name of the company, so let’s just say if you see finger prints on the cast.. that’s called lazy or just trying to pump out models without taking the time to clean up the original before making the mold.

If you have never noticed before, I have some hex gladiators above on the page.  For some time I’ve been contemplating creating a gladiator javascript game that has fun with ajax allowing people to goof around while browsing the site.  Just today I found some Actionscript code by Emanuele Feronato (http://www.emanueleferonato.com/2008/04/23/finding-adjacent-cells-in-an-hex-map/) that looks pretty sweet.  

My code so far has it autoshift the hex gladiator to the nearest hexagon, when dragged and dropped in Internet Explorer (sorry I’m still working on the Cross-Browser part).  I’m wanting to setup movement, right-click options, and other stuff to allow the miniatures to move, hold position, or attack.  It sounds like a bit much for now.. But I should be able to pull it off.  My biggest hurdle is I usually program in ASP, so javascript and PHP are not my strongest points.

Eventually, I’d like to dedicate an arena page on this website that allows registered users to duke it out.  It could be fun figuring out the client and server side validates to ensure nobody is cheating… Besides.. It could play into my whole gladiator campaign concept someday.